Sunday night proved to be another one for the books. Unsure if the beerman would come through, Crush Captain, Cody Bart, decided to tell three other skaters to bring beer (just in case). The good news that all three peopel showed up and brought beer. The bad news for Monday morning guy is that they toughed it out late night and drank it...head hurts....
Before we put on a drinking display post game we put on another display of sorts on the ice. Green machine poses a threat each meeting, but this season they can't see to penetrate the Crush defense. With another shut-out the Crush move to mid-season with a 13-0-1 record. Crush netminder, "Peanut Butter" Broadbridge reflects in the locker room after the game, "This was my second shut-out in nine years". "My last shut-out was probably eight years ago", Patrick recalls. This stunning result and PB's glorious play earned him the games most valuable player. This is Patrick's 4th MVP honor this season and the year is only half over. Look for this star player to rally for season MVP honors. We are regretful to inform on the status of the coveted MVP stick. This traveling trophy was not in attendance last night due to some nude photo session (Beanzy). We can only hope the stick is safe and not buried under a pillow covered in K-Y Jelly. Please god, NO!
While we are talking goalies let's touch on former Crush starter Josh Skinner. Any time the Crush take the ice against this guy you can guarantee some serious shots on goal. We usually start with a few high wristers to let Skinny know we are still thinking about him, but then it's straight for the five-hole. This hole continues to be wider than the last high school girl Skinner reamed out. This flappy gap is enticing, but the door will shut just as quick as it opened..... unless...you have magic skillz like "Au Naturale" himself bringin' the sweet stuff. I don't know if Darby has named this goal yet, but with his parents and girlfriend in the stands we expected something nasty.
Most of the Green Machine plays a respectable game, but some of these cake eating pricks can't seem to keep their mouth shut. I would like to take this opportunity to call out the two biggest girls on the ice last night. Do I dare??? Ah f@#k it, Robbie Deming and Snowflake....there I said it. These two are constantly running at the mouth and not giving the senior Crush members the respect they deserve. If this continues we will be forced to bend these two babies over the cross bar and spank there bare bottoms until they ask for their mommies. Girls, listen up, this is men's league hockey...welcome.
As the Crush head for the Christmas break we are scheduled for two consecutive Saturday games. We are short-handed boys so try make an appearance if you can. Levi will be in town and in charge...good luck.
BOX SCORE: 4-0
First Period:
1. Edmunds (Wade, Drew)
2. Darby (Beanzy, Wade)
Second Period:
SCORELESS
Third Period:
3. Levi (Rick, Drew) BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE
4. Darby (Wade) PP
Game MVP: Patrick Broadbridge
Next Game: Saturday Dec. 22nd @ 3:00pm versus the Filthy's
Beerman: Ben Stanley
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5 comments:
More attention than I deserve. Thanks for the kind words. If I would have given up one, I would have been below .900 save percentage for the game as I only faced 9 shots. Seriously, I may have to carry my own clipboard and records shots. My decent play is a direct result of hard-working, backchecking forwards and a constant stellar D. You guys are definitely making me better than I am. Again, my deepest thank you to all of you! Fairy Dawg
Lets get this straight, Darby got the pass from me not Beanzy in the first. C'mon get it right and don't whine about it. Nothing against Bart, but I am lacking in points and need everyone I earn.
Anyways great game, its nice to see the brain shelled and losing against the crush. He chose to leave and lose day in and day out. I hope he doesn't lose the winning spirit we need some victories at the easter classic.
Yeah crush, on top as usual.
Skinner's hole ins't THAT flappy, he's just an innocent butterfly goalie expecting head shots and ice spray in the face from crush forwards on breakaways. Plus, the kid is 6' 3"... a drunker, modern day Ken Dryden. He'll take away the corners all day long but open up the chicken legs and he'll be real confused about his jock strap location.
Way to finish all that beer last night, guys... I've been a few notches above worthless all day! Dehydrated, spacey and nauseous... yup, the Crush must be on a roll.
Fairy Dawg, You must be high on some of that fairy dust. I haven't seen a back check all year.
Nobody loves to see Bennedict Arnold give up goals more than I do. That was the first goal I've scored on skinner since they closed the ice garden. Is it sad when you score top shelf boom time and the water bottle doesn't even move?
PB&J, any shut-out in beer league is nothing short of a miracle. Don't kid yourself, You are a goaltending god!!! Trust me, I know how easy it is to let one squeek by.
As for the whiney little bitches that call themselves a hockey team, GROW UP SNOWFLAKE!! If you feel like you absolutely have to lip off, punch yourself in the face instead. Learn how to skate or just sell your gear Robbie.
Crush rule!! Nice work in the locker room.... that WAS alot of beer.
It sucks to be me right now, but not as much as it sucks to be those high school girls. Fun game, poor outcome.
I may be a drunker ken dryden, but i could kick benedict arnolds ass... at trading sides.
Defenitely was a lot of beer, think i was almost to Sheridan by the time i sobered up
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