"Red Army Surrenders!"

As Reported on by the back-up first aid kit carrier.

On Saturday, “power night” in Bozeman beer league there were four games; the main event, Crush vs. Red Army took place at 9:00. In a much anticipated event, the boys in blue looked toward their former Red Army foe, The Plum for advise, “Well, guys the men in red haven’t won many games this year.” “What” chirps stand in goalie Beanzy, “that can’t be.” “They kinda suck” responds the Plum. The professor, who once played for the men in Red, was traded to the Crush in August of ’06. A hundred point getter, in his rookie season this talent can really fly. What a deal considering he was traded for one used jock and two of Bart’s gay porn. (This author has no idea why Jason asked only for these two items)

The first period started off slow. The Red Army without a goalie for the first two minutes, team Crush practiced their passing skating circles around the dumbfounded Army. In net for both teams were back-up to the back-up goalies. For the Mighty Blue, Beanzy, in only his second appearance in net for the Crush, looked to boost his win loss to .500. Across the rink Pistol Pete, normally a sniper for the Big Sky Kasalies, protected the back of the net with pads straight from Jim Craig. The Plum started the scoring in the first with some fancy footwork and a crisp wrist shot. Wow, Pistol is in for one hell of a night. It took three more goals before the Army got to tally one. Wait, with a game like this, Julien, the Crush’s beer man was nowhere to be found. They just won’t last without the promise of frosty cold ones in the locker room. The Crush ended the first sulking, with a final goal from the dogs.

Before the start of the second the Crush summon for Grand Rapids stand out womens hockey player Michelle, to get beer. With a smile and a wink towards Crush vet Tony “T-Bone” she gladly obliges. Once back with two arms full of Pabst, the Crush had a little fuel put back in their tanks. Kenny shouts,” Beer is here.” The Mad Hungarian and Souch immediately take a change. Yep, that’s right, Souch. The man only a month ago had his Blue jersey stripped for not showing up. The second period ended with tallies from both “Wild thing” and “T-Bone”. Crush to the core, these two men have sacrificed year in and year out for the Crush. The second was finalized with “hottie in the box”, Tara, Michelle’s friend screaming,” I’m hot for men in blue!!” as the Crush come off the ice. The Plum instantly turned two shades of purple darker, “Was that towards me,” he speaks. “Nope”, says Kenny, “I just scored, that one was for me!”

The third saw a fury of crush goals. Cowboy Rick, Crush rookie gained the game MVP in this final period of play. Fantasy hockey was on everyone’s mind. Important since this is the first game of fantasy this season. Rick stepped up to the plate and delivered three key assists to help team Earl win the cash. Bondo responded, “Bull, this is rigged, MVP and the cash, Rick can’t do that.” The Plum in a respectable third place out of three quoted, “The Earl won my babies diaper money again!!” The Crush leave the ice satisfied, 14-4 isn’t a bad night. Cold Pabst and hot blondes filled the locker room post game.

BOX SCORE: 14-4

First Period :

1. Levi- Edmunds, Stanley
2. Edmunds- Unassisted
3. Levi- Edmunds, Bondo
4. Edmunds- Levi
   

Dogs

Second Period

Dogs

5. Kenny- Levi, Edmunds
6. Tony-Edmunds, Levi
7. Edmunds- Stanley
8. Levi- Unassisted
9. Edmunds- Souch

Dogs

Third Period

10. Stanley- Beanzy

Dogs

11. Stanley- Rick, Souch

12. Edmunds- Bondo, Levi

13. Souch- Rick, Stanley

14. Stanley- Rick

MVP---- Rick